Above: Kathryn (left), an artist at Creative Connections presents Rachel with a family portrait as at a recent birthday celebration. Celebrating each person's birthday and L’Arche anniversary are important traditions at L’Arche – inviting us into deeper relationship with each other, and ourselves.
When was the last time you felt celebrated? During your workday, no less?
It was my birthday last month, and anytime I saw Kathryn — a core member of L’Arche Saint John — she asked me when I was going to come celebrate my birthday with her and others at Creative Connections, L’Arche Saint John’s art studio.
Per L'Arche tradition, I got to pick out a special drink and treat to share. A candle was passed around the circle as each person named gratitude or what they hoped for in my year to come.
This tradition is beautiful – and can feel vulnerable. It’s not always comfortable to sit and listen to even nice things people have to say to you. It can feel easier, or safer, to deflect or redirect words of affirmation than to receive them.
Yet sitting with the uncomfortableness of affirming feedback is essential to being in mutual relationship with each other. At L’Arche, we are people with and without intellectual disabilities, sharing life together. Our mission is to make known the gifts of adults with intellectual disabilities, revealed through mutual relationships. A frequent turn of phrase to guide our approach is “doing with, not for.” In my observations, the ability to receive encouragement, affirmation and love is a sign of healthy relationships – to ourselves and to each other.
What has always drawn me to L’Arche is the value of celebrating the value of each person. This value contradicts our dominant cultural value system steeped in capitalist productivity and the use-value of each person – a value system that, by design, so often discards people with disabilities, and other marginalized identities.
What a gift it is – what an inherent act of resistance – to be celebrated for the inherent value of who we are, rather than the facade of material accomplishments.
The highlight of my birthday celebration was receiving a beautiful gift from Kathryn – a family portrait of me, my partner and our dog at my favourite nearby beach. I was immediately entranced by it – the colours, the style, all of it – I can't take my eyes off it.
Kathryn's invitation to be celebrated, and then to receive this very special gift that says "I see you, and what's important to you," was a beautiful reminder of what it means to be seen and celebrated, vulnerable as it may feel.
May we all be so fortunate to encounter that sense of belonging. If you're still reading, know that your engagement with L’Arche supports this important work, of building a world where everyone belongs.
With gratitude,
Rachel Vander Vennen
Community Leader & Executive Director
1 comment
I see you, too, Rachel…often across large gathering rooms…like last Wed. evening at the Y Red Triangle!! Cameron’s presence and message was a testament to the call of the Spirit, ever fresh, ever unfolding in this “now”! “Thank you for being born and being among us.” (Henri Nouwen)