Above: Krista (left) shares a moment on stage at Building Community 2023 with Rachel (right).
Recently Krista came over to my house to watch a movie together. Before the film started, we chit-chatted on the couch as we munched on chips, dodging my dog's attempts to swipe them from our fingers before they reached our mouths.
I asked Krista how she was feeling about something and her response was so direct, articulate and clearly rooted in her values.
To be honest, I was impressed by her clarity.
And grateful. Krista’s confidence in her own feelings was the affirmation I needed to remember my own confidence.
Any leadership role requires, at times, navigating challenges that demand nuance, compassion and clarity of vision. Recently I realized I was working through such a challenge when I kept hearing the refrain back to me: “You’re asking a lot of really good questions.” That statement is usually followed by, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I was much help.”
Anytime I don’t know the answer to something, or a big decision has to be made, my first reaction is to feel a little overwhelmed. And then: I get curious. I make a mental list of people that might have part of the answer, map out all the questions that could lead to clarity, and prepare for multiple outcomes.
I’m always surprised when people end the conversation apologetically, for not having provided some golden answer. In fact, it’s actually affirming to hear that other people don’t have the answers, either – just having someone else to hold those questions with me is a huge support, plus it becomes an invitation to find a collaborative answer together.
In a community like L’Arche Saint John, where relationships guide our work, naming our uncertainty actually makes us stronger. It shows that we trust each other enough to be honest. When we speak our questions out loud, we show that we care about getting things right. We show that we are moving with purpose, even if the path isn’t fully clear yet.
When we name our questions to one another – when we live the questions together with curiosity and honesty – we find our way forward. And when we show up authentically and wholeheartedly ourselves, like Krista did with me, we can help each other find the answers without even knowing it.
Thank you for supporting L’Arche, where we live the big questions everyday together, guided by our core values.
With gratitude,
Rachel Vander Vennen
Community Leader & Executive Director